Greetings from Denmark! Sitting in my little tent with a view of the sea. Sometimes the sun breaks through the clouds, a beautiful place.
After I came back to Berlin around 2 and a half weeks ago, I felt tired, confused and a little lost. The experiences of the camino have touched and shaken me deeply. I do understand that I am tired, but there is an exhaustion in me that I know from other situations and I feel utter resistance against it. Starting to feel the resistance itself though which is better than just wanting it to go away …
I cancelled my trip to Malta, because I was just not ready for another country and trip so soon again. It felt strange to not go but also relieving.
I went to Lübz, north of Berlin, to visit a friend who lives in the middle of fields and forest. This becomes my place to wait for new inspirations inbetween longer trips, it seems.
And then last Monday, I was ready to leave again, with my bicycle to Denmark where I will be participating in an intuitive dance workshop on the island of Samso this weekend. I arrived last night on the usland and stayed at a camping site close to the beach. It is beautiful, will probably stay here on this island for a few days after the workshop too. It inspires me to write and let go and relax.
Already in NZ I started dreaming of going on my bicycle instead of walking. I met Don, a cyclist on one of the campsites I stayed and imagined that I would feel more free on my bicycle, even if it was just to cycle to new places from which to discover the nature in a walking manner. And indeed cycling is deeply associated with freedom in me. I started going on bicycle trips when I was 18, and I loved it and came back refreshed and well. So maybe this will be a good combination, cycling and walking.
Interesting though that I needed some time to allow myself to cycle, as if the Himmelsläufer practice can only be done walking. I experimented with the practice while on my bike and the feeling is similar. When I bring the Heaven under my feet or wheels I feel abundance in my whole body, actually too much abundance to be able to hold it. As if I have to widen my container to take it all in, which I can allow more I feel.
And my recurring dream of walking or cycling or travelling in some other way the silk road comes up more urgently. I had put it back to be tackled after I have more practice travelling like I do at the moment. I will hold the silk road vision as more of a possibility now, maybe even next year.
One realization around reasons for my felt exhaustion: I need to connect more consciously to the online communities I belong to. I somehow disconnected myself although I know that active participation has always empowered me. As we follow our impulses more deeply and engage with the world more and feel the feelings of v the earth and places we visit and more consciously witness all of it, we cannot do this alone. I/we need to take a seat in bigger cycles to rest in and share the experiences.
I have been fascinated by virtual fields, meditation fields, blessing fields, the yogini circle, etc for many years, now I can feel the need and empowerment to be consciously part of one or more of these fields or circles directly. The noosphere that Teilhard de Chardin was talking about is coming into existence through these circles.